Thursday, November 3, 2011

It could happen to you, Part 2

Statistics show that every 9 seconds in the U.S. a woman is abused or beaten.

Even though the month of October is over, Domestic Abuse still occurs every day.  My previous blog post was written from an adults perspective.  This blog post will reflect an interview from the child of an abused woman.  Unfortunately, Aqueelah's mother did not live to tell her story.  It was through this unfortunate turn of events that I met her and we shared a common bond of recently losing a parent to violence back in the 80's.  I could not imagine having to grow up without my mother.  Its such a tremendous loss. 
S: Did you know your mother was being abused? 
A: When it was happening, no I did not. Once she was killed then I knew. She would lie to my brother and I and tell us that her black eyes came as a result of a bowl falling out the cupboard and hitting her in the eye. And anything my mother told me I believed so I never thought twice. And to mention I was only 10 years old at the time and my brother was 6 years old.     
S: Did your family ever try to intervene? 
A: I remember a time of my uncles coming over to set him straight but he wasn't there and my mother assured them that everything was fine and she could take care of it. But other than that there was no other family intervention to my knowledge.  

S: How has the loss of your mother affected your life?  
A: The biggest thing I wonder about my mother is how differently would my life be if she was here. Thanks to my grandmother and family members I had an excellent childhood and upbringing. But in the back of my mind I always wonder how my life would have gone if my mother was here to raise me.    
S: How do you feel about abusers?  
A: Abusers are the scum of the Earth. Any man that puts his hands on a woman is a coward. 
S: What advice do you have for children of abused parents? 
A: I know that it is a heavy burden for a kid to bear but please tell someone. Unlike me, I was totally oblivious to the situation but had I known then I would more than likely said something to a family member or told my teacher at school. You may get in trouble for telling but you may also save the abused parents life.  
I understand its hard for the victim to be abused, but imagine what a child goes through.  In my friends case, imagine what she felt as her family explained that she would never see her mother again.  Thankfully, she had wonderful family members to step in and take care of her and her brother, but no one can ever take the place of her mother.  To all the women out there in an abusive relationship, please remember that every life is important.  Don't be afraid to tell someone, they may help build you up to leave the situation.  Mothers if you have teenagers or young adults, please stress the importance of recognizing when their friends/boyfriends/girlfriends have abusive tendencies.

For more statistics, check out:

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