Monday, November 7, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
S: Did you know your mother was being abused?
A: When it was happening, no I did not. Once she was killed then I knew. She would lie to my brother and I and tell us that her black eyes came as a result of a bowl falling out the cupboard and hitting her in the eye. And anything my mother told me I believed so I never thought twice. And to mention I was only 10 years old at the time and my brother was 6 years old.
S: Did your family ever try to intervene?
A: I remember a time of my uncles coming over to set him straight but he wasn't there and my mother assured them that everything was fine and she could take care of it. But other than that there was no other family intervention to my knowledge.S: How has the loss of your mother affected your life?
A: The biggest thing I wonder about my mother is how differently would my life be if she was here. Thanks to my grandmother and family members I had an excellent childhood and upbringing. But in the back of my mind I always wonder how my life would have gone if my mother was here to raise me.
S: How do you feel about abusers?
A: Abusers are the scum of the Earth. Any man that puts his hands on a woman is a coward.S: What advice do you have for children of abused parents?
I understand its hard for the victim to be abused, but imagine what a child goes through. In my friends case, imagine what she felt as her family explained that she would never see her mother again. Thankfully, she had wonderful family members to step in and take care of her and her brother, but no one can ever take the place of her mother. To all the women out there in an abusive relationship, please remember that every life is important. Don't be afraid to tell someone, they may help build you up to leave the situation. Mothers if you have teenagers or young adults, please stress the importance of recognizing when their friends/boyfriends/girlfriends have abusive tendencies.A: I know that it is a heavy burden for a kid to bear but please tell someone. Unlike me, I was totally oblivious to the situation but had I known then I would more than likely said something to a family member or told my teacher at school. You may get in trouble for telling but you may also save the abused parents life.
For more statistics, check out: http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/domestic-violence-statistics/
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
My eyes have been opened. And I don't think I like what I see. Its funny how the most difficult of times bring about clarity. I tend to care too much for others and think of others feelings. And its upsetting when that empathy is not returned. If I can't depend on someone when times are tough..what good are they to me? People should be more thoughtful and caring.
Especially during natural disaster. I could never imagine not offering my food, my home and my comfort to those I claim to love. Maybe I was raised differently, but my mother always showed she cared with what little she had to offer. Times like this make me question every opinion I had of those I hold near and dear.
Thank God for those who care. This time has taught me to prepare and be kind and even more generous of myself. You never know when you could be the one in need. My heart has been heavy the past day or so..and I have to come out of this gloom and thank the Lord for keeping me. For keeping my home. For allowing me to escape harm. Sometimes we have breakdowns and sometimes we have breakthroughs!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I came across a few new stores and I love to window shop. I tend to be an impulse buyer and I'm working on that so window shopping is a new requirement of mine. I was able to keep my funds in my pocket while perusing a few stores, but then my eyes happened upon a new store. It was accessories only. And they were inexpensive. I tend to not purchase many accessories..not sure why. Sometimes I think accessories are too trendy. I usually stick to my main staples such as hoop earrings, bracelet and necklace. But I notice more and more, that having a cute, trendy pair of earrings every once in a while can spruce a simple outfit right up. I really enjoyed my purchase that day. I bought a few funky pairs of earrings, a cute necklace and even threw in a couple of things for my mom.
Another reason, I tend to not buy lots of accessories is because after they aren't in style anymore, they kinda become junk or clutter. I think I enjoyed the mall more than my son that particular time. I got home and realized that I didn't have a fancy jewelry box or accessory tree to hang my new items on..so I found some packaging that came with a portable heater and reused them. It had lots of little compartments which is what I needed and they costed me nothing, zip, $0.
I got to digging in my nightstand which is where I usually throw my jewelry and started organizing. I had even forgotten about the earrings and necklaces that my neighbor bought back from her trips home to Punjab, India. Although, I'm not done organizing and sifting through it all, I still plan to find something cutesy to store my pieces on or in, for right now my solution is on point. And now I realize that accessories really can make or break an outfit!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Last year, I was into wigs and sew-ins and it really made my life easier. But at the end of the summer, I had a patch of hair missing. Not exactly sure how that happened. So I got over the sew-in really quickly. I chose to start fresh on New Years Day and left the weave in 2010. Now I miss it!!
I have been taunted with seeing so many people going natural and loving it. Unfortunately, I wait until the summer to start trying the natural thing. I always end up here. So...I am going to try and stick with the no relaxers (maybe just a edge up). Jill Scott definitely has had a few styles that I have loved over the years. This one being my all time fave!
I also love color. Streaked, tipped etc. But bleaching can be brutal on your hair, especially if you don't condition it. I generally stick with reds, burgundy's and any shade of brown. We could talk all day about this hair thing..I mean really what girl doesn't obsess over her hair???
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Due to my poor planning I didnt have my own pool cleaned out and ready in time to enjoy it, so we visited the pool at Pocahontas State park. It was crowded to say the least. Then of course someone had an accident in the pool, which made for a perfect exit. My little menu consisted of baby back ribs, beef sausages, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, potato salad, squash & zucchini, macaroni & cheese, chips and watermelon (you can't have grilled food without it). Ended the night, watching TV and drinking daiquiris with one of my best friends.
I usually head to the beach for a quick getaway, but I couldnt muster up the energy to sit in traffic or splurge on gas. Even though gas prices dropped a little something..I still wasnt feeling it.
My summer plans are still TBD. I have to do better with having a plan. I got Myrtle Beach, Orlando, and Miami on the brain. Hopefully the family can pull together and make a nice vacay out of one of these places..if not..my son and me will make a road trip of it! And I definitely have to make it to Atlantis in the Bahamas, that is definitely a dream vacation.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Most children especially those who have reached their teens will try to push the boundary. We as parents have to stand our ground. Make them show respect and make them earn our respect. As the disciplinarian, I still do fun things with my child, we shop together, I watch video games & television with him and even horseplay. We play basketball together etc. I do the horseplay to let him know that we can have the best of both worlds. And I don't ever want my child to be afraid of me. But I want him to have some fear (and I say that lightly) for what the consequences will be if he ever disrespects me.
I own this throne, I run this house and I earn the money. So its my way. I agree that parents should back each other up when it comes to disciplining the child. But when the parents live in separate households, you have to have a mutual respect for the other parent and any punishment when the child is in the other's care within reason.
My advice to my son is to always respect your mother/father. And even though you are going through puberty, etc., there is no excuse for mouthing back. I also remind him to be conscious of the choices he makes. Don't alienate us, because we are in his corner. I gave him so many scenarios where teens got out of control and thought they knew better than their parents did. I told him where these people ended up. An older woman on my first corporate job gave me this much treasured advice: Choose your battles honey. I told him the exact same thing. This is my first go round with a teenager and its only just the beginning. Let the fun begin!!!!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I finally got out of my lull and hauled my behind to the gym. Worked out on the elliptical for an hour. I thought my body would be aching so badly from neglecting exercise for almost a month. But I made it through with no incident. Thankfully Pandora Radio got me through it. I have to listen upbeat tempos to get me through that hour.
En route to the gym I realized that today was the last day to take advantage of Happy Hour at Starbucks. I got there about twenty minutes before it ended. I'll have a Venti Mocha Frappuccino please. And it was yummy!
Then I got home to discover that I lost the key to my outdoor shed...I guess my neighbors will give me the stink eye until I get a replacement key so that I can get the lawnmower out to cut the grass. And I hear its supposed to rain all week.
On my way to pick up a birthday gift for my other friend, I got caught in the rain. Good thing I keep plastic bags in the back of my car (from shopping of course). Because I surely didn't think to bring an umbrella. Hair catastrophe avoided. That wouldn't have faired well to have had to show up to dinner with dripping wet hair.
My girls and I have a birthday tradition. This year we skipped on the chain restaurants and headed out to Mama J's. I did very minimal research, due to hearing several good reviews. And we loved it!! Cute and quaint. Clean. Good food. Decent prices. And very friendly staff. I really loved the decor. Cutest restroom too. A return trip is very necessary. I have already recommended them to friends. http://www.mamajskitchen.com