Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I'm not your friend

Some events that occurred today compelled me to blog about parents and the relationships they have with their children.  More often than not, one parent is the disciplinarian and the other is the friend.  I tend to play the disciplinarian and I am so okay with that.  But what happens when the friendly parent doesn't like the dynamic that they have created?? I think that line is very thin for a parent and child and sometimes it becomes blurred. I think a boundary has to be set.  I love laughing and joking with my son..but he knows when mama ain't playing anymore.

Most children especially those who have reached their teens will try to push the boundary.  We as parents have to stand our ground.  Make them show respect and make them earn our respect.  As the disciplinarian, I still do fun things with my child, we shop together, I watch video games & television with him and even horseplay. We play basketball together etc.  I do the horseplay to let him know that we can have the best of both worlds.  And I don't ever want my child to be afraid of me.  But I want him to have some fear (and I say that lightly) for what the consequences will be if he ever disrespects me.

I own this throne, I run this house and I earn the money.  So its my way.  I agree that parents should back each other up when it comes to disciplining the child.  But when the parents live in separate households, you have to have a mutual respect for the other parent and any punishment when the child is in the other's care within reason.

My advice to my son is to always respect your mother/father.  And even though you are going through puberty, etc., there is no excuse for mouthing back.  I also remind him to be conscious of the choices he makes.  Don't alienate us, because we are in his corner.  I gave him so many scenarios where teens got out of control and thought they knew better than their parents did.  I told him where these people ended up.   An older woman on my first corporate job gave me this much treasured advice: Choose your battles honey.  I told him the exact same thing.  This is my first go round with a teenager and its only just the beginning.  Let the fun begin!!!!

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